people’s old facebook statuses are what i live for
anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “not to you”
Or “whoever she is, she sounds like a whore”
do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”
yes hello id like to buy this painting!! its just so beautiful. ive fallen in love and i have to have it. how much is it??? wait. what do you mean thats a mirror
today a 4 foot tall freshman in an angry birds t shirt pushed me out of the way because he “has an honors class to get to move peasant”
"I’m not rich"
"But I have a big dick"
"I don’t have a big dick"
"But I am rich"
"And I have a big dick"