stability:

people’s old facebook statuses are what i live for

whoredinarygirl:

anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “not to you”

Or “whoever she is, she sounds like a whore”

spikespiegell:

do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”

hellabloggin:

yes hello id like to buy this painting!! its just so beautiful. ive fallen in love and i have to have it. how much is it??? wait. what do you mean thats a mirror

metaknighty:

today a 4 foot tall freshman in an angry birds t shirt pushed me out of the way because he “has an honors class to get to move peasant” 

leomanaids:

bitchcraftandwiggatry:

dirudo:

"I’m not rich"

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"But I have a big dick"

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"I don’t have a big dick"

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"But I am rich"

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"I’m rich"

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"And I have a big dick"

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